By Jeff Strand
Andrew Mayhem is again! during this darkish and hilarious new experience, Andrew has all started up a personal research enterprise together with his ally Roger (slogan: "We resolve bizarre Problems"). for the reason that his thoughts in existence becomes a little bit extra restricted after his spouse Helen offers beginning to triplets, it really is his last-ditch attempt to get out of being caught with a company day activity.
One in their first consumers is an enticing lady named Shirley. maintaining with the type of success Andrew has had his whole existence, her challenge is: "I imagine i'll be a serial killer."
Yeah, he's taking the activity. Even after she insists on being handcuffed to him whereas they examine the home the place she may have saved the our bodies of her victims.
But Andrew discovers that this present day has even more risk in shop than being handcuffed to a lady who may possibly or will not be a homicidal maniac. simply because Mr. Burke, the sadistic villain of his final event, has been looking at Andrew and plotting a very ghastly revenge...and the assault starts now!
Packed with the trademark demented humor, wild motion, and grisly horror, this is often the radical that Andrew Mayhem enthusiasts were threatening to stab the writer if he does not write.
Foreword via the beautiful and proficient JA Konrath.
"No writer operating at the present time comes just about Jeff Strand's ideal mix of comedy and terror." -- Cemetery Dance
Read Online or Download Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to "Shirley") (An Andrew Mayhem Thriller Book 4) PDF
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Extra resources for Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to "Shirley") (An Andrew Mayhem Thriller Book 4)
Oh. Yeah. the other time I would've gotten it. you recognize, you actually can not swallow keys. It used to be a small one, however it wasn't that small. If it spins round on your digestive tract you are going to have difficulties. " "I'll be ok. " i needed to assert "Also, it might probably unencumber your belly and your whole meals will fall out," yet I remembered that i used to be now not chatting with my eight-year-old son, who had at quite a few instances swallowed a magnet, a marble, a fun-sized Snickers bar complete within the wrapper, and an eraser that he swore he proposal used to be a gummi eraser. "Crap," stated Roger. I leaned my head down into the outlet. "What's unsuitable? " "I'm caught. " "Shine the flashlight on your self. " Roger did. He was once just a couple of ft clear of the cooler, yet he used to be certainly wedged in tight, together with his leg caught beneath a copper pipe. "How the hell did that occur? " "I do not know! " he stated. "Maybe the reason is, my loved enterprise accomplice made me move slowly down right here! " "That's an grand success to get that caught that quickly," I expert him. "That's anything a caricature personality may do. I commend you. " "I imagine the ceiling curves down in this aspect. " "You suggest the ground. " "If i am caught beneath it, it is the ceiling. So you are heavily going to simply examine me and make jokes, huh? i am hoping there are rats down right here dripping with plague and you have got to be the only to head domestic and inform Samantha that the flesh bubbled off my physique when you laughed. that is what i am hoping. " "Are you continuously like this? " Shirley requested. "I imagine we are being a bit extra infantile than traditional. " "It would not dissatisfied me in the event you toned it down. " "I absolutely comprehend. " I appeared go into reverse at Roger. "Can you get out? " "Oh, convinced, I in simple terms referred to as out simply because i wished you to work out me at my second of grand dignity. " "Let's all you need to be a piece much less sarcastic. " "I'm caught below the floorboards in a creepy apartment subsequent to a cooler of lifeless our bodies. this isn't the time to invite me to dispose of my protection mechanism. " "Do you would like us to come back down and get you? i am asking this in a very honest demeanour. " "Nah, i assume i am ok. I simply have to flow my—son of a complain. Made it worse. permit me try out to—son of a complain. Yeah, i am quite wedged in the following. i'll use a few aid. " "Well," I stated, damn chain, "I'm completely satisfied there is not anything that may make that activity inconvenient. " "You're already being sarcastic again," stated Shirley. "It hasn't even been fifteen seconds. " "I say sorry. " "Even that used to be sarcastic! " "No, that was once authentic. glance, i am not a finger pointer, however the handcuffs challenge is on you. So will we move slowly down there with them on, attempt to choose the lock first, or gnaw? " front door opened. a guy entered with a gun. bankruptcy SIX either one of them—the guy and the gun—were very huge. i am no scrawny stick-man, and through these occasions whilst i am not within the sanatorium improving from psychopath-related accidents, i am in lovely stable actual form. yet this guy... i am certain he wasn't particularly seven ft tall, yet he certain seemed like it. He was once absolutely ripped, and he wore a decent short-sleeved gown blouse that used to be truly chosen for its muscle-highlighting homes.