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Download E-books Royce: The life, times, best jokes and funniest photos of America's favorite clean comedian PDF

By Royce Elliot


A comic story booklet from comic Royce Elliot

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A shopper requested the bartender "Doesn't that trouble you, a ) man calling you names like that? " The bartender spoke back, "Oh, heehaw; heehaw, He continuously calls me that. " . ·ng domestic the man's spouse Upon arnVl ' , him "Why, you re part screamed at ' drunld" "I be aware of, 1 ran out of cash. " * * * The Bishop known as the Pope and acknowledged "jesus is strolling down the road at once. i do not comprehend what to do. " The Pope stated, "Try to appear busy. " * * * A farmer rolled his truck right into a ditch injuring a few of his inventory. A cop got here through and observed the pig laying there with a damaged neck. He pulled out his revolver and shot him. He checked out the goat laying there with damaged legs and shot him. He yelled on the farmer who ' was once pinned contained in the truck, "Are you okay? " The farmer answered, "I've by no means felt greater in my existence. * * * forty six BOXING * * * I carry a checklist within the Golden Gloves. i am nonetheless the single man to get knocked down with my gown on. * * * I knew i used to be in difficulty once they offered advertisements at the backside of my sneakers. * * * I had my opponent scared within the moment around. He concept he'd killed me. * * * The referee did not like me. He saved stepping on my palms. forty seven The supervisor requested me what occurred. I stated, "I have no idea. I intended to wake up on the count number of 8. i need to have dozed off. " * * * An outdated has-been punchy fighter used to be shadow-boxing and speaking to himself. He stated "'just wish one shot at Tiger Williams. i would kill that Tiger Williams. " His supervisor advised him, "I've instructed you one thousand occasions, you are Tiger Williams. " * * * a man who used to be with the circus was once shot out of a cannon nearly each day for ten years. someday after his final functionality he walked as much as his boss and said,"I'm quitting this activity. , The boss requested him, "What's the problem no guts'" The h ' " . uman cannon ball responded No i am · okay ' , Sic of the lengthy stroll again. , My wife's now not too clever. 1 advised her she was once getting craw's toes and she or he took her footwear off. * * * A duck went right into a drugstore and requested for a few Cha pstick. The clerk stated, "Will that be funds or cost? " The duck acknowledged, "Put it on my invoice. " * * * in the course of international battle eleven, a jap basic was once giving an indoctrination speech to a bunch of volunteers for Kamikaze responsibility. the final acknowledged, "First of all, we now have Saki wine celebration with Geisha ladies, then we strap you in aircraft, then you definitely dive for destroyer, blow your self up, subscribe to ancestors and reside fortunately ever after. Any questions? " a bit eastern man within the again acknowledged, "Yes, i've got query. Are you from your brain? " * * forty nine * HECKLER STOPPERS * * * inform me, sir, used to be the floor chilly should you got here up this morning? * * * Why do not you set your the teeth in backwards and chunk your self? * * * Why do you hassle me whilst i am operating? l do not come round whilst you are loading rubbish and insect you. * * * glance, blood brother, l receives a commission to make a idiot of myself. you are doing it for not anything. fifty one I had a go well with like that until eventually my dad bought a role. * * * is that this a blind date or did you volunteer for it? * * * you've an attractive spouse. you need to have got married over the telephone.

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